Trust

When the heart dies
the soul lives on

Is life all about pain and learning to live with it?
A diet of anguish, hair pulling, hand wringing and a lifetime of living with regrets, lost opportunities and heartbreak. For some of us it would seem so but still we have our good stories in between, things we can be thankful for. The world outside still has much beauty to offer even while we feel ourselves shriveling up inside, wasting, becoming more and more like the flowers on a tree way past their first stage of beauty, drooping, withered, blackened, shrunken, dying…. yet still we know that the buds will grow again the following year and life will go on.


“There is a secret medicine given only to those who hurt so hard they can't hope.
The hopers would feel slighted if they knew.”
― Rumi

Trust


When you trust with all your being
Everyone’s love and light is seen
See life through glasses coloured rose
All seem to wear their bright halo`s

When trust is broken dead and shattered
Truth is battle worn and scattered
All that you believed, in tatters
Nothings left, no one matters

When you open wide your eyes
You see though all those piles of lies
You pay the price at such a cost
You never regain what you’ve lost

Naivety, innocence waved goodbye
Can’t retrieve them, though you try
You’ll never be the same again
A life of wariness and disdain

Never feeling all you could
Not even trusting when you should
Life will never be the same
If you can never give 100% trust…what a shame.

© Ollie Jezierski

Skeletons in my closet

This keeps coming up for me, all the things I've done wrong, didn't do, wish I'd done or wish I'd done differently. In retrospect there's a million things I'd change.
However, that would make me a totally different person. I can't imagine being that perfect person who never makes a wrong choice or wrong decision. My choices in life lead me to who I am now, a more considerate, loving, forgiving person.
(I hope).
If I'd never made all the mistakes I've made, would I be more judging of others mistakes. 'How could they get into a mess like that'...well I know how they could, been there got the T.shirt as the saying goes.

I feel that the very fact 'I am very sorry' for many of my choices, that I would go back and change things I've done, shows that inherently I'm a good person, it was good for me. I've learned some good lessons along the way. This has got to be good...right?
If I didn't care life would certainly be easier.

I've messed up so much over the years... I often wondered 'will I ever learn' I hope I have learned. Just because we get burned doesn't mean we have to do the same. Yes, payback is great at the time but afterwards it just leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth.

Losing people I love with all my heart.. if only I'd done things differently. Maybe things would be different.

I wish I'd been a better mother, I wish I'd been a better daughter, sister.
I wish I'd been stronger, tougher, wish I'd learned how to say 'No', wish I'd learned to love myself.
I just wish I'd been a better person a better role model. I wish I hadn't allowed myself to be manipulated, used, abused.
I wish, I wish, I wish...........

I can't do anything about the past.
'Now'... is where I have to live, the past is gone, the future not yet here.

Skeletons in my closet


We all carry that load, feel tainted or scared,
The self loathing we hide, feeling nobody cared.
Past deeds we committed, we didn’t say ‘no’.
We allowed in abusers, so it’s our fault you know
Couldn’t heal a loved one… couldn’t take their place
We look in the mirror, guilt written on our face
If we could rewind time, we wouldn’t drink that night
If only we could… we’d go back and put things right.
The burdens you bare may have made you stronger.
You carry weight on your back… but not for much longer


So many things happen in our lives
to daughters, sons, husbands and wives
Whichever role you play in life’s game
You’ll carry baggage, your ‘baggage of shame’
Shame, blame… ‘all hurt’ gagged and bound
It all weighs so heavy, as you carry it round
The guilt of a child, through no fault of their own
Beaten or raped, those…‘guilt seeds’ are sown
The wife who was battered or mentally scarred
The father, whose child, died out in the yard.


The skeletons in your closet, tap with bony fingers
Creeping out, they make quite sure that memory lingers
You try so hard to keep those doors shut tight,
Memories locked away and buried out of sight
Tapping on your shoulder, ‘remember’ me it screeches
As it crawls inside your head, feeding like a million leeches
These skeletons know… when to have their fun,
When you’re vulnerable and scared, with nowhere to run.
They’re always there, waiting for their prey
If you let down your guard, they’ll jump in today


No…no more, I’ve heard you pleading
But the more you beg, the more they’re feeding
Those closet doors, should be thrown open wide
Shine a light on those skeletons hiding inside
Tell them you hear them, then tell them goodbye
Clear them all out and have a good cry
Cleansing tears, for the grief and the sorrow
Let it all out it’s a new day tomorrow
Throw away all that baggage of guilt, fear and shame
Forgive the mistakes, move on, let go of the blame.
© Ollie Jezierski
Tomorrow is another day; let it be the day you…
forgive yourself, love yourself, honour yourself.
Let go…let it all go….


“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor...Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
― Rumi

http://www.facebook.com/InspirationalAndSpiritualPoetry

Journey through life - find your inner child

I've been trying to play more lately, be silly, laugh. Finding my inner child.
When Chloe, my 6 year old step daughter is here on the weekends she insists on playing, Barbies, dancing, dress up, makeovers (I usually end up looking like a clown when she gets the make up out). I get to play all kinds of silly games, act like a child. Isn't it strange how we're allowed to lose our inhibitions when we have children with us.
Let's decide to play, we don't need children to teach us, the memory is there.
Ollie xxx

As we journey through life,
we learn how to run.
Climb trees, splash in puddles,
Play in sand and have fun

The world is our play ground,
oft times, we forget.
As age creeps upon us,
we’re caught up in the net.

Struggling and juggling
Rob Peter, pay Paul
Too busy for laughter,
caught up in it all.

Stop, just a moment
Find your child within.
Break free of the shackles
allow your life, to begin.

© Ollie Jezierski

I am

My first attempt at making a you tube video using my poetry set to music. The wonderful melody is called 'Reach for the Sky'.

I hope you enjoy it. Lots of love Ollie xxx

I came to teach

Life, death, energy, transitioning

  What happens when we're born? Where do we come from? We often hear people talking about new babies, "He/She's been here before, a wise old soul".

We all know that energy can be changed but never lost, it's always there even if it looks or acts differently.

It is my belief that when our body dies the energy goes on and on and on in some form or another. I believe this energy is our soul, our internal piece of Gods light and love which is held within all living creatures.

  If everyone knew 100% for sure that death equalled rebirth on earth or something even better would we be so upset when people passed on?
Shouldn't we celebrate instead, knowing they'd completed their journey, finished what they came to do here on earth during ours and their lifetime, no matter how long or short their life here was?
Wouldn't it be great if we could allow ourselves to be happy about such events, the loss of a loved one being celebrated and if they're young, babies, toddlers or teens, being even happier because it didn't take their soul long to complete their stint on earth, efficient in teaching others what was needed from them? If people are older when they leave, celebrate the fullness of their life. All the lessons they were able to learn and pass on.

It’s said that everyone who comes into our life enters for a reason. We’re both teacher and student, all life a lesson. Good relationships and friendships teach us many valuable lessons. Just as valuable are the people who cheat us, hurt us and abuse us.

I came to teach

   

                 
  
I came to teach you

to laugh and let go

to dance in the rain 
and make angels in snow  

I taught you to love,

I taught you to cry

to open your heart

as we both said goodbye

I gave you much pain

You learned not to trust

some lessons are cruel

but learn them you must

I showed you your light

As your soul sings a tune

graduating with honours

you’ll be going home soon.

(Ollie Jezierski 17th March 2012)

Charlie Chaplin, The Barber's speech

 (I love this speech)

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.

In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think or what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural!
Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfil their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality. Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.

- Charlie Chaplin, The Barber's speech.

Feel me, Hear Me

For Reg, Janine and Tyde. 

Feel me, Hear me

Sometimes you reach a time in life

where all seems bare and hell and strife

where you can't think which way to turn

whichever way you go, you burn

Your mind is full of tumbling thoughts

a storm is brewing in all ports

can't seem to see the road ahead

no where to land, no road to tread

A foggy landscape, where's the path

Tumultuous storm, so full of wrath

when all is raging, feel the pull

thoughts tumbling over, all so full

Shhh still your mind, let go of fear

Just listen to your heart, I'm here

Feel me, hear me, hold me tight

I'm you, I'm God. I'm all Gods light.

R.I.P Reg. 

Judging/ Judgement

We experienced a very valuable lesson this week on the forum.
 All about judgement.
What is judgement?
Well we found questions coming up, such as, "speaking up for others is a form of judgement...
or is it defending someone"? or speaking your truth?

 If you question a persons actions in any way shape or form, are you in judgement of them?
The discussion caused quite a stir... in the end I think we were all judging and speaking our truths and defending others and ourselves.
Certainly brought out lots of hurt, egos, love, questions and answers.

 I'm sure this isn't over yet, we all still have a long way to go... but we're getting there. :)

 <3